While most bachelorette parties are typically of the drunken ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ variety, mine had to be slightly on the tamer side of things, seeing as I was 6 months pregnant at the time (along with two of my bestie attendees). So what does a pack of half-sober gals do to turn up and get down (aside from eating), you ask? Well, one of my bridesmaids had the genius idea to plan a workshop with a sex-pert, so we could all brush up on some important skills… like the ones that got us pregnant in the first place, and a few extras that might come in handy to keep that fire burning for many years to come. So after our group mani-pedis, and a delicious dinner on the town, we retired to our swanky hotel suite, where we were joined by the talented Ms. Lorraine Hewitt, aka. CoCo LaCreme; a seasoned burlesque performer and sex educator at Good For Her in Toronto. CoCo arrived with an arsenal (well, a suitcase) of props and samples (and yes… a lot of penises), and a wealth of knowledge, and left us all giggling and blushing harder than we have since junior-high at that first boy/girl dance party. So without further adieu, here are the top 10 tips we learned at our sex seminar with the lovely lady LaCreme:
1. Arousal is a cycle. Always start slow, and gradually build up intensity. It’s a journey… so sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
2. Heads up. The head of the penis (the glans) is the most sensitive part of the male sex organs, hosting around 4000 nerve endings. As far as pleasure is concerned, this is the top of the totem pole (so-to-speak).
3. The frenulum is your friend. The V-shaped underside of the glans, known as the frenulum, is the most sensitive area of all (and always a good place to pay a little extra attention to).
4. Don’t buckle under pressure. The shaft of the penis is sensitive to pressure, so don’t be afraid to give it a good squeeze! You may need to use some lubricant to avoid friction.
5. And the runner up is… Rated second highest in nerve endings, gentle touching of the anus can cause intense arousal and/or direct access to the prostate (another significant male pleasure centre). For those brave and bold enough to enter… first make sure his penis is hard and happy, use lubricant (as the anus does not produce any of its own), and remember…
6. It’s all about the base. If you plan to use anal toys, make sure they have a base… so they don’t get stuck, duh! And to avoid a very embarrassing trip to the ER.
7. Testicle technique. Stimulate the testicles early in the blow (or hand) job, when you are likely to have a more gentle touch. Hold the scrotum in the palm of your hand and gently massage and roll them like meditation balls.
8. Channel your inner Dyson. Make an ‘O’ shape with your mouth and use suction on the penis, while slowly moving your head back until it pops out, making a lip-smacking sound that he will savour. Repeat this several times, and you might just blow his mind.
9. Let your creative juices flow. Use your tongue and experiment with drawing different shapes on his penis (like the alphabet). Remember that the different sides of your tongue have different textures and provide different sensations. The under-side of the shaft (where the frenulum is) especially loves to be licked.
10. Communication is key. Use eye contact to create a deeper level of intimacy, and ask him how things feel. Being enthusiastic and showing that you desire your partner is the biggest turn on of all. And just remember what a wise woman once said… A BJ a day keeps the side chicks away!